Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man
Two observations about “Spider-Man 3.”
1) In “S3,” when the black goo from space turns Peter Parker into his evil alter-ego, isn’t there a better way to show that he’s gone to the dark side than just having Tobey Maguire comb his hair forward? Don’t get me wrong. I think Maguire’s a good actor, and he was especially good in this role in the second movie, when he had to play Spider-Man as a lonely, unappreciated hero who didn’t earn a penny from saving all those lives. But if there’s one thing Maguire can’t play, it’s The Bad Boy, so simply giving him bangs and having him dance like a third-rate John Travolta does not make him seem evil. It makes him seem like Crispin Glover.
2) How many times will Kirstin Dunst’s character, Mary Jane Watson, have to fall from great heights before she decides she’s had enough of being Spider-Man’s girlfriend? “Peter, I like you a lot. I may even love you. But there are only so many times a girl can be hurtled off a skyscraper and see the sidwalk rushing up at her before she decides she’d like to live a slightly more normal life. I know you’ve always been there to catch me, and I appreciate it, but one of these days you’ll be fighting a gooey purple amoeba-looking villain, and I’ll be hanging by my fingertips from the outside of some construction crane that just can’t bear the weight of being crushed under a giant anvil of sludge, and I’ll slip and you won’t be there to catch me, and, well, I guess I’m trying to say that, before that happens, we’re through right here and now.”